No Rhyme or Reason

By Andrea Freedman

It’s been one year since you’ve been gone,
Since you went away;
And still you’re always in my thoughts
Each and every day

Today I won’t be able
To help but shed a tear
When I think back to the nightmare
That was this time last year

There have been many phases
Of this past year of grief
Anger and great sadness,
Shock and disbelief

There’s much I need to tell you
I wonder when you’re going to call
And then I am reminded
Of the injustice of it all

On nights that I am lucky
I see you in my dream
When I wake up and face reality,
I just want to scream!

It has been hard to carry on
And not give in to gloom
So strangely quiet it’s become
Without your voice to fill the room

I miss so many little things,
Like how you’d speak a phrase
And even though a year has passed
I am still in a daze.

So many times when I’ve been sad
Feeling many shades of blue,
I thought I might be selfish
Because I know you miss me too

There are times when I imagine
That this was all a hoax
That you’ll be sitting next to me
And we’ll be making jokes.

I often reminisce about
The times we spent together
What a very long time it is,
This thing they call forever.

I know you said “Don’t ever change,”
But it has not been easy
How I miss the days before,
When I felt more light and breezy

We’re past the point of no return
Or finding who to blame
All I know is without you
Life is not the same.

No matter how much time goes by,
My heart will never fully mend
Because something’s always missing
Without you here my friend

But though this tragic loss
Has been so much to bear
I would not trade one moment
Of the good times that we shared

I recall us watching movies
Or cheering when our team would score
Just like all your many fans
You left me wanting more.

So today I’ll also think about
The laughter and the fun
I’m pretty sure that on this day
I won’t be the only one.

A friend like you is priceless
I’m so grateful you were mine
No matter what, one thing’s for sure
Your star will always shine.


In loving memory of my dear friend David, who passed away one year ago today.

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About andfreed

I am a Toronto based writer of articles, columns, essays and novels.

Posted on June 2, 2017, in Weekly Thoughts and Observations and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Lisa Morrison

    I just saw your poem now and that was absolutely beautiful Andrea, Having lost someone so close and dear to me as David was to you, each & every word you spoke was so powerful and relatable and I know in time your pain will ease even if the disbelief of how suddenly he was taken continues to be surreal and difficult to accept. The first person I thought of when I heard this news a year ago was you and the impact it was going to have and all I can really offer up is that while the deep sadness never goes away, the passage of time will help ease the pain. While I was not in touch with David for several years before his passing, I absolutely, clearly remember the many days I spent with him enjoying many conversations and of course, immense laughter. He was a special guy and I know how special his relationship was with you. My thoughts are with you. Lisa

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  2. Don Denaburg

    Beautiful, Andrea. I can relate to every word & sentiment. 😥 It still doesn’t seem real and I keep wondering when it will be over and I’ll be able to talk to him, again. xo Don

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  3. I went to see him today. Still can’t believe it. Thank you for expressing your feelings he loved you so much. You gave him so much ❤️

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  4. Extremely poignant and well expressed I’m sure Sniderman would of been proud.

    Sam

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  5. I just read this beautiful poem to David and I was so touched by the many thoughts you have had through this year that has passed. David was “One in a million” that’s for sure, and the hurt you feel is only natural because you two had a Special Bond that only few people are lucky to have in their lifetime.
    I’m sure David is looking down on you today and smiling. Okay Blondie, that’s enough of this sadness. Remember all the great times we had together, and know how very special you are to me for always.M.

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  6. Absolutely beautiful!

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  7. Dear Andrea, thank you SO much for creating this beautiful tribute to David.
    As always, you have put so many of our own thoughts, struggles and feelings about losing David into such beautiful words. Love and miss him everyday.
    Let’s meet for coffee when you get a chance.
    Giant hugs, Aviva

    Like

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