Monthly Archives: July 2015

B-List Buddies

By Andrea Freedman

When a woman I talked to recently at the gym told me about a man she was seeing, at first it sounded promising. That was until I found out that the guy she was dating just so happened to be busy with one thing or another each and every single weekend. This went on for a couple of months, until the woman decided that, whatever his reasons were, if he didn’t consider her good enough, or important enough, to spend time with her on the weekends, then she did not need to waste any more of her time with him, period.

When dating someone new, the first few dates do tend to be short, weeknight drinks or coffee. But if it continues and the person is always busy on weekends, it might be time to question his or her intentions, or whether they are possibly married or in another relationship.

Funny enough, a friend can feel just as bad as a potential date or relationship if they are only relegated to weeknights. While a weekend date gives hope for a relationship to make it to the next level, the same can be said for a friendship. For example, yet another lady I know also told me a story I found interesting. She and her husband were friends with another couple – or so they thought. After having gotten together several times for casual outings during the week, the woman suggested that they plan a dinner out on a weekend. Instead of committing to a Saturday night, the so-called friend at first made one excuse after another about how busy she and her husband are on weekends and eventually the relationship petered out. It was as if my friend had stepped out of line, or crossed an invisible boundary. As far as she was concerned, the message the other couple was trying to convey was “Weekends are for real friends and you are not one of them.”

A lot of people reserve weekends for family or quality spousal time, or they don’t like to lock themselves in, in case something better comes along. Granted not every outing needs to be a big hoopla. Weekend dates or social gatherings tend to go on longer and later in the night and there are actually times when an early get-together after work is just fine. The problem arises when one party starts to feel as if they have been put on another’s permanent “B” list.

Nobody feels good being treated like a second-rate citizen, given the proverbial cheap seats or as if they are not worthy of prime time. Nor does anyone like to be thought of as an obligatory time-filler to be gotten out of the way during the week.

If you never make it past the coffee or first date stage, or if you notice you have been demoted or kept at a certain level by someone you thought was a friend, it might be time to move on. I think my friend has now gotten the hint, and it looks as though this farce of a friendship has now been put on hold indefinitely. As for the lady at the gym, I am told she has now met a new guy who is only too happy to spend time with her on the weekends.♦

Copyright © by Andrea Freedman 2015


Cold Sweat

By Andrea Freedman

When fugitive and convicted murdered David Sweat was captured this past Sunday only three weeks after his escape from prison, I must confess to being a little bit disappointed. That is not because I wished for a killer to slip into Canada, or that I have a lack of regard for the safety of the general public. However, I had become so engrossed (okay, obsessed) in the drama surrounding the escape of Sweat and his accomplice Richard Matt, and was looking at this purely from the point of view of someone who enjoys an exciting story.

I confess that I have always been fascinated by the intricacies of the criminal mind. Like it or not, these men, or at least David Sweat, had to be pretty clever to pull off even what they did achieve, regardless of the fact that they were ultimately caught. When pictures of the captured fugitive were plastered across television screens nationwide, I read the look of defeat on Sweat’s face and for one moment I felt a bit sorry for him.

Unlike the movies, there will most likely not be a sequel to this saga, as once authorities are satisfied they have obtained all of the relevant information they can from now captured David Sweat, he will eventually fade from the spotlight and go back to spending the rest of his life in jail – only this time – ironically – possibly with far less freedom than he had before he made his break from Clinton Correctional Facility in upstate New York.

If he were merely an actor, David Sweat might have slipped under the radar, if only for a little while longer. Freedom was within his grasp. It is true that fact really is often stranger than fiction, and in this case, way more interesting. This multi-layered, intriguing story had everything, including the ever-popular elements of drugs and sex. Having followed it closely, I could not help wishing that the escapee would have sweat it out (pardon the pun) just a little bit longer and attempted to make his last sprint to the Canadian border after dark, rather than in broad daylight. If this had not been real life, I dare say that many of us would not have been able to help cheering this guy on. Sweat’s character might actually have softened the audience’s opinion of him, especially after he came to the defence of the prison guard at Clinton, telling police that the man did not intentionally assist with him and Matt’s escape.

Although David Sweat will now be considered something of a hero by his peers, his attempted, albeit foiled escape may result in tighter security and less privileges for himself and other convicted criminals in the future.

Still, I wonder if he regrets his actions or if he was happy to feel free, even if only for a short while. I cannot help imaging what that first breath of air outside the jail must have felt like.

Back to reality: One less dangerous felon (or shall I say two) has now been stopped from having the chance to hurt someone or take the life from another human being. Many people are breathing a sigh of relief.

Before we know it, another story will come along, making the debacles of Matt and Sweat a distant memory. Still, that being said, I can hardly wait to watch this when it is made into a movie.●

Copyright © by Andrea Freedman 2015