Close the Bathroom Door

Andrea Freedman

I notice a disturbing trend these days where couples go to the washroom in front of each other, and I don’t mean always necessarily only peeing. Movies depict couples chatting while using the washroom as if it were the most normal acceptable thing in the world.

Some people seem to think that if you can feel comfortable enough to defecate in front of your significant other then you must have a really great relationship.

I knew one woman who bragged “Oh I go to the washroom in front of my husband, I don’t care.”

Perhaps her husband cared though, considering they are now divorced. While I doubt the demise of the marriage had a lot more to do with letting your pants – pardon me, your hair down in front of one’s spouse.

It may sound old fashioned and I am only in my forties. I by no means clean our home wearing pearls and a dress so that my husband will not be disillusioned with me, but I draw the line at forcing him to watch my bodily functions.

Some people, even those in my own age group, may accuse me of being a fuddy-duddy. I felt the same way when I was much younger as I do now about this subject and I suspect my feelings will not change years from now. As far as I am concerned, using the bathroom in front of one’s partner is taking letting oneself go to the extreme.

While I by no means wish to be a prude, as shocking as this may sound, I somehow think my mom’s generation had it right in some ways.

It goes hand in hand with all the young women I see having what I call that “I’m tired” look, wearing sweats, hair pulled back and of course no make-up and no time for a shower.

Although as years go by people generally do not always look exactly the same as they did when they first got married, abandoning all grooming, body-consciousness and demureness and dressing like a slob could be taking comfort levels too far.

Keeping the romance alive in a marriage is important. How do people expect to do that when they are taking a dump in front of his or her husband or wife? I would not even do that in front of my closest friends. My husband is also my friend so I think he deserves the same regard at least as my other friends.

I know people are generally cooler these days and things are less formal but that should not mean that all sense of decorum and yes, modesty, goes out the window.

I personally appreciate that my husband closes the door when he uses the washroom and I am sure he is just fine leaving some things to the imagination when it comes to me too.

Just because you go to the bathroom in front of one another is not necessarily a testimonial to how good your relationship is – in fact, it might mean just the opposite.

It is one thing to be yourself but if yourself happens to be being a boor, do yourself and your partner a favour, and keep it behind closed doors.♠

Copyright © by Andrea Freedman 2015


About andfreed

I am a Toronto based writer of articles, columns, essays and novels.

Posted on February 19, 2015, in Weekly Thoughts and Observations and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I think you are absolutely correct in your thinking. I have been married over 50 years, and never once in that time did my husband or I use the bathroom in front of each other. I think if you want to keep the romance alive, you have to still retain the modesty to keep the imagination going. It’s one thing to be friends, but there are some things that never change, and that is respect for one another, and certainly, the bathroom is no place to enjoy each other’s company. Always leave room for the imagination, and when we keep ourselves attractive to each other, the marriage is still exciting.


  2. This is the funniest thing ever. Heather and I were just talking about this the other day.


  3. Andrea, I can’t imagine how this subject gets into conversation… but, while I’ve never seen on the screen, large or small, a scene where this has occurred, still I can imagine it happening. But people — adult people — talking about it, admitting it? Hmm…Anyway, agree with you completely, about the defecating part anyway. I pee sitting down when my wife’s within walking (or seeing) distance. I don’t know, somehow peeing doesn’t seem so bad.Cheers,Ron

    Date: Thu, 19 Feb 2015 15:32:12 +0000


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